I sucked my nourisment)_+=Title?

======Sux this===============

FROM..................

~From the DiRt_

~Aware of the .. supidity^

_The ugly dance of fear...*

^I smell.."Slit throats"~~

~~~Drowning in "ProTeSt"~~

.. .Makes ..my...blood....

MORE... Passionate~~~!~

~Can you feel the pounding?

Of your terrified pleasure?

AWWWWWWWWWW

~~ ...come over here ...boy...

~~You...MoVe...mE~~ ~

Do that Dance..like a,,,

.. Flat twisted worm~~~~~~~



~I;ll ware my dirty smock..

~an. ..s0on..I will be gone+++

Back to the round~hoUsE)_+
END*


From the "Lucy=Archives*

 

HiS=LucY^^^^^

======================

He thought some-.....

bout...tAdAY,,and what it would bE like----

but he crawled ---oN thE flo0R----

and thought...way to much-xxx

thE damn myStery-[-his misery-]...with splices to his spine

the puppets say-------------..."HE almoST lost hiS mind!

anTs..playing cupid.----gaY--col0R's-and...

a fiXEd-.....minD.

he saw -"BiTs"=Everywhere!!!!!!!

.

hE never tolD....true detectives....

Bout the yelloW haiR....down the drain--OR-in the dumpster,,,

or on the breakFast table.

LuSt on THE RUN---------isn'T good fER anYone.

.

he--jus---cried-an,,,,,,

saw empty packs.....

an

puppets smokin cigars...on every WaLl-

plaid suitcaseS''=in open air CaRS

pop TaRTs......burned memories,,now

faces,,,,,of her=====........

.

flowered pinS-of his prom QuEEn-...

a...damn

Genious.....after-----------all.-she WAs~.....

an he --------CrieD!="DAMN that GyPsY=====DreAM"

"lucy"?---NAH!!!!.......shE couldn'T.....of-.....been.....

unDEr_________mY-bEd.....?

?


==============================================

LucY=livEs everyWhere--.......the eternal TrippER.....EVEN-ShE=has=hER-....."WAKE UPALLS"

stupid girl?=====dunno,,do you?

.............

STUPID GIRL

AS IF I HAD LABOR TIME
I wondered how long this pain would last
It wasnt the Chipped glass that sparkled above my lip to the right
And it wasnt my toe shining in colors of red and pale blue and grey
and it wasnt the veins in my head...Tangled like constricted snakes
until....
.....all you could see was...the shadows and luminance of thin dead
people.

Like my mother.....right before she died......
[So.....pale......her body] -casting-her vomit-like ~crayons....on vinyl
floors.

NO IT WASNT ANY OF THAT
maybe it was waking up sober
maybe it was the sun under my eyelids that refused to open
maybe it was the vanishing sight of my Childhood....
.....the pure soul....within-me-....that I believe I once knew.

THE BLAME DIDNT START TODAY
When a pudgey black chic braided my hair-
pulled it so tight that memories of my 1st abortion flashed through me
like nails
I felt Violent! as she tugged at my scalp....thoughts of killing
her...entered my mind
I FELT VIOLENT
I felt stupid as I let her continue to ransack my thoughts-
but....Isnt that my life now anyway?..to be abused?

ONCE I WAS IN THE CELLAR
And I made an oath -to-the walls
never---------------------------again------------------
no-never!
But....There he came .....
"MY JESUS"
My inner -self...a reflection of my own body and mind..my strengths.....

and..my....insecurities......a man of honor and a man of sneaky ways....

Just like me.

We would sneak past in the night...Til one night our truths bled and
covered..
ALL THE SHEETS _AND_THE LIES BEGAN_ WORSE

In this gutter I'm gutted...
My Jesus takes me on rides in his car---rides so terrifying that....
...I hear..my mother.....and hear my dead grandfather...saying....
..."SEE!..look! see her on tv! thats you! Princess! Your the next Beauty
queen!"

and....I think,,,,,
I must bury the frail needy cancer ridden mother I never got to bury-the
right-way-
When she asked me "do I look younger in blonde hair?"....my head spinned
round..
.like a rinse cycle in a wash=machine

I THOUGHT HE WAS SENT TO ME
He was....when...
His cock entered me.from behind ..my face hidden from...what I was
thinking
I could -hide like a child....but I couldnt hide the moans-of pleasure.

BUT AS THE MONTHS DRAGGED
His life was more important
His Past lovers were in bed with us...I felt them....
and I wondered....was I good enough..was I perfect?
Almost frantic....I ripped apart my closet
Looking for something erotic to throw on myself
It wasnt but a week ago ....we were drunk
HE TOLD THE NEIGHBORS
"her pussy smells really bad! like that Of a 90 yr-old!"
I was so -embarrased I slept-for 3 days-dreaming about Little girls in
pale curls..
Little girls so perfect that theyre innocent cunts smelled like vanilla
incense

I WOKE UP TO FIND MYSELF
In straight Black hair-and not a soul around me to say ...."do yuh want
a smoke?"
So I curled up......and watched as the faded light stretched along the
hangers...
on my bed....Til the dark gutters streets ...passed like ghosts...in a
bad flick....
I LOOKED AT MY BREASTS....NAKED
and I thought "I do deserve a better setting"

Then I thought about cutting off my hair
or....dying it blonde
maybe I would have alot more fun.
I drifted again-.....into my walls....-=-

HE CAME HOME
Standing against the refrigerator..I posed like a bad-B-Grade actress
~~~blue smoke lined the rusted magnets~~~on doors of ice
I tried so many times....Too many times I thought...to look as if....
I didnt care
as if....I thought he ever thought...-=-
INSTEAD I LEANED BACK
over the stove...and I said ...
" I want to leave you"
"I know you dont want me"
"I know your using me"
Hearing my own words scared me -Would he reply......"LEA VE THEN!"
Once again I felt stupid..and I think....now...and I
laugh.....Because----when I think
......I can actually feel my hair burning.

I think about Lucy
The Little girl in my nightmares
And I hold her close
Her frail-Bloody pale pink body next to mine gives me comfort
Calms my nerves
Shes always been there-=-ALWAYS BEEN BETWEEN US-=-
And we float
on to eachothers ribs AS one perfect MESS
And we escape to the gutters
To the sinks of reality
To the brink of insanity
To the shopping malls of lost souls-

As the Morning Glitter arises..I pack my hairclips with almost black
strands in them
like------a halfbreeds---tail....
Stroke on a beauty mark.....and....
STROKE HIS BLOODY HEAD ONE MORE TIME
I kneel and I whisper in his limp
ears-=-goodbye-=-..before...patching......yet...
.....another WALL.

AS IF I HAD LABOR TIME
I took Lucy by the hand.....and....we stuck out our thumbs in the
gutters...*

stupid girl

----------------------------------------I'd like to say thanks To Cait collins for her -work,,,,,and inspriation....and to all to contribute......to the hold ...and to all out there in space-=-.....keep up the go0d workxzxzxzxzxzx----........-----aND-heY=(-Always pRotect yuh circle-} loVes-----Brace-aka--jamie+.........